Take the Boyfriend to the Work Party or Not?

My work is having a party/cookout this weekend. I am not out at all to them, as in South Carolina a person can be fired simply because he or she is a "homosexual." This leads to a simple question:

Should a gay man bring his boyfriend to the work party?

How would he introduce him? My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 17 months, so I wouldn't want to simply say he is my friend. I'd be scared to say he is my boyfriend, however. That would "out" me and put my job in jeopardy. It really is difficult being gay in our society sometimes. If Congress would just pass ENDA already we wouldn't have to be worried about stuff like this. What do you think?


  1. i wouldn't do it.. tooooo risky :-/

  2. On principle... I would say yes... but by voluntarily outing yourself... you do put your job in jeopardy like you said. In the end, this will be your decision in which you will have to bare the consequences alone (in a way). South Carolina is notoriously anti-gay. Unless you have adequate reason to believe you will not be dismissed or subjected to subsequent direct/indirect discrimination at work, I would say think about this long and hard.

    I'm not saying stay in the closet at work, but you also need to keep in mind this is your job. I don't know whether you can afford to lose your job and be financially sound/safe in that eventually. As I myself will be out of a job in about 3 months, I would say think about where else you may want to work - or even can find a job in this economy.

    On principle I would say go for it - but you have to acknowledge the reality that you may very well lose your job over this... and risk not finding work in this particular field... at least in whatever area of SC you work in. I know I've beat around the bush on this, but this is so much more complicated than a simple yes or no. I would dare say you know already what you want to do... it's just a matter of convincing yourself whether you want to do it.

  3. Anonymous11:24 AM

    thats so lame that its like that


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